In Honor of The Hallmark Holiday- An Uncomfortable Look into Le Romance de Tyler and Ashley (Q & A)

1. How long have you guys been together? 

Since his penis went into me? Since I declared my love for his penis?

About 3 years? 

2. First Date?

Ballast Point in Little Italy. He wore his fanciest shirt to a brewery 😍

3. How did you meet? 

In the backyard of some shitty Clairemont house party when we were 16. My shirt may or may not have been on at the time… 

4. What is “your song”: 

Anything by Glass Animals for sexy time. He got me into Arctic Monkeys and Alt J so they would substantial for me. And Muse, because Muse is life… Whether Tyler likes to admit that or not.

5. Do you remember the first movie you saw together? 

I can’t remember the movie but I remember the time. He was so nervous to actually hang out with me one on one when we first started dating that I invited Monica and Trevor (our best friends) over to watch movies. We ended up having a big slumber party and when I woke up to make breakfast, Trev and Ty bitched about not having pancakes so I struggled to make them from scratch. Everyone ate them politely.. 

6. First road trip together? 

Rosarito and Joshua tree with friends 

Big Sur by ourselves 

7. Do you have kids? 

I do, a little 3 year old. He adopted her as soon as him and I got serious. Her name is Harper 💜 she’s a dog

8. Better Singer? 

Better and singer should never be used in the same sentence when talking about either of us 

9. Who was interested in the other first? 

Him, unfortunately. He had to watch me while I was busy dating assholes who never respected me

10. More sensitive? 

Him. He always cries first during This Is Us. Mostly because I hold my tears until he cries. It’s this sick little competition he has no idea about. Also, don’t tell him I told you he cries during This is Us. 

11. Worst temper? 

Neither of us really lose our temper with one another. He gets quiet and I like to calmly say things that will cut to his core when I’m upset. He did slam a door once. But overall I’m the one with the attitude, so me?

12. Funniest? 

That’s tough. My funny feels more deliberate, I say things knowing I’m trying to be funny. He’s just so awkward and witty that he even surprises himself when he’s funny. So I’m gonna give it to him 💜

13. More social? 

Me, by a landslide. That is, with people we don’t see everyday. With his friends and family, he never stops talking 😘

14. More stubborn? 

Me, by a landslide. He’s one of the most caring and compromising people I know. I’m not. I’m a fucking brat. 

15. Wakes up first?

Tyler would sleep 22 hours a day if I let him

16. Has the bigger family? 

Our family’s are eerily similar  

17. Eats the most? 

That little 145 pound mother fucker. He eats more than anyone I know and I’m the one who gains all the weight for him. Asshole.  

18. Who said I love you first? 

Me. In the shower. Drunk. Romance is my forte

19. Hogs the remote? 

Me. I have a serious list of shows going. Although any opportunity he gets, he turns on family guy. I’m cool with it 

20. Better cook? 

I’m not sure that he does cook. Just kidding! He did once. It was delicious 😍

21. Hogs the bed? 

Harper. Hands down. Oh wait this isn’t about her? 

Still Harper 

22. More Romantic?

I said I loved him for the first time while I was drunk and showering. He wins this one for sure  

23. Who is Smarter? 

I’m smarter in the sense that I’m going to say he’s the smarter one. Keep myself out of trouble 

24. Who is more messy?

Messy doesn’t exist in our relationship. I’m tedious and he’s OCD. We spend the majority of our relationship wiping clean counters and tinkering with shit around the house.

25. Who takes the worst shits?

Him. I am a vegetarian so shit gets interesting, but I am pretty sure he fills up the entire toilet or something because he often leaves me little presents for when I first wake up.

26. Who is the better drinker?

I would have said him, without a doubt, had SuperBowl 2017 not happened and changed my entire outlook on Drunken T-Shit forever (Don’t worry, that blog is coming soon)

27. Who is louder in bed?

Psh. Holla at ya girl

28. Who talks more about marriage?

I talk a lot about him raising his credit score before we do, so I guess I win it?

29. Who would be the better parent?

I have no doubt that he is going to be the best dad in the world. I will be a hard ass bitch who will expect too much for her children so he is absolutely necessary in keeping our children from resenting us and joining the Peace Corp or some shit.

30. Who is more inclined to fill out super cheesy love questionnaires on the internet?

Tyler likes cat videos.

2 thoughts on “In Honor of The Hallmark Holiday- An Uncomfortable Look into Le Romance de Tyler and Ashley (Q & A)

    1. I plan to teach my children that words are just that, words. I don’t plan to place any sort of value in one word over another and hope that my child will know what profanity is and will choose to express themselves as effectively as possible. That may include a FUCK or it may not. That’s their choice. But then again, I only have a dog so I may change that opinion when I actually have/adopt a kid. I’ll keep you posted


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